Disney-sized Love & Healing from the Father

I couldn’t believe it. I was asked to speak to and work with other children’s pastors at a conference in Disney World. For someone like me, this felt like the epitome of a “perk” at work.

As a child, I always wanted to go to Disney World. I remember watching TV commercials, longing to see the fireworks in front of the castle. My parents could and never would fulfill my childhood dream. Between finances, priorities, and mental illness, a trip to the Magic Kingdom wasn’t an option.

So imagine my disappointment when my parents announced they were taking my younger brother to Disney. Seriously? I was a teen by then, working at a Christian bookstore in a job I loved. I enjoyed talking and ministering to people while feeding my love for a good read. I had a job. And responsibilities. And besides, my brother had always wanted to go.

My heart sinking, I thought about all the times I returned home early, only to be scolded for “pushing it” too close to my curfew. My brother, on the other hand, came in at all hours of the night, often breaking a window to enter the house because he didn’t have a key or was too drunk to figure out how to use the doorknob. I thought about how hard I worked to maintain above a 4.0 in my AP classes, my role in the National Honor Society, and all the extracurriculars I participated in. Those things were never celebrated or even mentioned. Meanwhile, my brother, who was and is very intelligent, barely squeaked by with D’s. I thought about how he stayed home, watching TV and playing video games, while I served in the community. To my young mind, this decision to take him to Disney without me, was proof of what I always felt—they loved him more than me.

It wasn’t just my brother, it was my parents. They never attended any of my concerts, plays or performances. Not a single one. They didn’t take me shopping for a prom gown or new school clothes. Let’s not even get into the fact that I worked three jobs just to pay for those things. There was always a sense that I was on my own, often being parented by my grandparents. At a certain point, my parents just stopped, well, being my parents. I may have been with them physically, but emotionally they decided for me that I didn’t need them.

Oh, but I did. 

Sighing, I was shaken back to the reality of the email in front of me. Disney World. An opportunity to speak and teach people I love in a place that I love. Of course, I would do it. Of course, I would invest in the people investing in the next generation. Of course, I would celebrate at “after parties” with them, watch fireworks at the castle. Of course, I would. As I giggled to myself, I sensed not only that my heavenly Father was proud of me, but that He had his hand in healing my heart.

“I redeem ALL things. ALL things, daughter.”

Immediately tears sprung to my eyes. My Abba was taking me to Disney World. My Abba acknowledged how hard I had worked. And my Abba celebrated with me.

“Thank you, Father. I love you.” 

It’s the only thing I could think about all day. All month. All year. 

We have a good, good, Father. One who sees us, who hears us, and longs to mend those broken spaces. 

I don’t know what your Disney World-sized hurt is today. But I do know the one who can heal it. I long ago surrendered that hurt to Him, never expecting Him to take care of it in such a powerful way. But what I know is true for me is also true for you. 

He’s a good, good, Father. How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (I John 3:1a NIV)

As we enter into a season of celebrating love, let’s not forget the only love that can satisfy the deepest longings of our hearts, even the ones we have already surrendered.

Rachael Groll is a pastor in a Pennsylvania church and a missionary with Children of the Nations. She spends her days loving people well, teaching them about Jesus wherever she goes. She is a mom to three amazing daughters and a wife to her best friend, Tim. Keep up with her at shehears.org.