10 Things to Keep in Mind in a New Ministry Role

Apple crisp, pumpkin spice lattes, and comfy sweaters. Fall is my absolute favorite season of the year. I love the predictability of bold colors on the trees outside my kitchen window. The promise of hayrides and cooler temps brings a welcome reprieve after the busy chaos of summer.

For those of us in ministry, we recognize this also as a season of ministry growth. Newly-christened planners, schedules, and a desire for routine predictably produce a new crop of kids into children’s and youth ministries. New leaders, both paid and volunteer, join ministries.

Recently, I celebrated my sixth year as a children’s pastor. As I review my time in this role, I wish I had done some things differently. With that in mind, I offer 10 suggestions to protect heart and ministry from slipping into negative habits during this busy season.

1.  Stay Positive

When I first started, I tended to focus on the negative things piling up. My heart was in the right place. However, my mind was not. Focusing on the negative put me in a negative place. Once I focused on the incredible families I was serving, my heart and mind balanced.

No background checks completed on new volunteers? Pray over each volunteer as you process through the pile of forms. Lack of communication within the department? Create a monthly newsletter. Low supplies and even lower budget? Tell everyone how your amazing kids can be part of God’s work in their community.

2. Treat Adults Like Adults

When people serve in ministry, they commit to God, not to you or me. However, early on I called every volunteer to remind them they were on the schedule. Then I called afterwards to see how everything went. As my volunteer base grew, so did my phone call list. It got to the point where I spent the majority of my week on the phone. At some point, I realized that I was treating my volunteers the same way I treat my young children. Reminding, worrying, then checking up. There is obviously value in being approachable and valuing each team member. But holding on to things too tightly prevents people from reaching their potential. If you’ve done your homework through background checks and training, allow people the freedom to succeed. 

3. Talk to God Before You Talk to Anyone Else

My husband says I talk to breathe. He’s right about my default setting. So, naturally, when the frustrations of working with broken people leave me feeling overwhelmed, my natural tendency is to want to process my emotions and thoughts aloud. That’s fine if my primary audience is God. I understand some situations won’t break confidentiality if you are sharing among staff. But just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. Dumping something on someone else without going to God first does nothing to solve the problem. In fact, it often makes it worse. Yes, at times you may need the insight of staff. More often than not, though, taking it to the Lord first will give you some perspective and peace.

4.  Guard Your Relationships and Realize Some Change

Leadership is lonely. There are things you just can’t talk about with others. Work events conflict with family events. Nights out with friends suddenly don’t involve you because of your leadership role. Even if nothing changes within the relationship, it will still feel that way.  Seek out relationships with other leaders in the community or through social media. Don’t allow yourself to become an island. Be intentional about making sure that as you grow and change, so do your relationships.

5.  Only Allow Those Who Are Safe Into Your Private Spaces

Three years into my position as a staff pastor, I had finally saved enough to take our kids on an unforgettable trip to Disney World. Excited to share pictures of princesses, both mine and Disney’s, with family, I posted one picture on social media of a dream-come-true moment for my youngest. I got an unexpected response. The ridicule for spending other people’s “tithe money” cut deep. Yes, I was paid by the church. But I also held garage sales, carefully watched our grocery budget, and shopped second-hand. That didn’t matter to those watching. Although that attitude was not reflected by our church leadership, some people in our community felt that way.

I didn’t know how to handle the criticism. After seeking the advice of an older and wiser wife of another pastor, I had my answer. “Why are those people even on your social media?” It was a question I had not considered. I assumed that because I held a public role in the church, I was required to accept everyone who wanted to follow me. By doing that, I allowed those who didn’t understand my heart and mission to speak into my life, even in a small way. Now the only ones who are able to be in my safe place are those who are, well, safe. Those who love and encourage and support.

6.  Do What God Wants YOU to Do, Not What He Told Someone Else to Do

When I first took over the children’s department, I inherited a curriculum that was not a good fit for our kids. The previous director enthused about the fabulous curriculum and the monies spent on it. Although the curriculum had great bones, I found myself rewriting it every week. This added a tremendous amount of work.  After praying, the Lord revealed that I needed to be obedient to what He was calling ME to in that season. We switched curriculum and have never looked back. I am thankful for the role the previous director played in our ministry. But she left. God placed me where He did for a specific reason and a specific group of kids. He did the same with you. Don’t feel like you need to keep things the same because that is how someone else did things.

7.  Littlest Ones Matter

Rarely does a new volunteer ask to be put in the nursery. I love babies. But getting consistent volunteers for the nursery proves difficult. I realize this is partly my fault. Do I ever talk about nursery and how spiritual formation starts before birth? Not really. Instead I talk about what God is doing with elementary kids in community outreach or preschoolers learning to worship. It’s equally as important to talk about what God is doing in the hearts and spirits of our littlest ones. They matter to Him and they should matter to us.

8.  Prioritize

There is always a never-ending list of things to do. You can easily feel overwhelmed, especially in the busy seasons. Prioritize what needs to be done first, then allow yourself to walk away at the end of the day. The work will be there tomorrow.

9.  Keep Family First

Ironically, this is not first on the list. Initially, I didn’t struggle with this. But months into my new role, I realized the toll it was taking on my family. Time at home was not necessarily time at home because I was always answering one more text message, finishing one last email or catching up on one last project. Now, at least one day a week, I turn off my phone and computer. My family gets all of me and they know they are my priority. Regularly scheduled vacations and family date days get scheduled before anything else. Don’t allow your marriage or kids to become a statistic.

10. Take Time for Your Own Walk

This is last because this is the one that I want you to remember as most important on this list. If you open your Bible only to prepare a lesson, then you are not reading the Word for you. You are reading it for someone else. Yes, we need to be in the Word to develop lessons for our kids and volunteers. But don’t allow that to replace the time you spend in the Word, hearing from the Lord for you. This will make the most lasting impact in your ministry. 

What would you include in this list?  Drop us a line in the comments to share some important things you would say to a new children’s pastor.

Rachael Groll can be found enjoying some family fun as she mothers her three daughters, pastors children, and encourages women. Connect with her at shehears.org.